I’m convinced my boyfriend is having sex with his best friend behind my back

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my boyfriend’s older female best friend moved in with him, I’ve turned into a green-eyed monster imagining they are having sex behind my back.

He tells me I have nothing to be worried about, but I know they have history and my suspicions have started to consume me.

I’m 32, he’s 35 and we’ve been dating for ten months. Until recently, we had a great relationship.

Things got serious between us very quickly, and we started to talk about moving in with each other within a few months.

But these plans were ruined when his best friend and her nine-year-old daughter were evicted from their flat.

My partner took them in. She’s 43 and they’ve been friends for ten years. He’s admitted they previously slept together but insists it was a one-time thing.

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He assured me this would only be a temporary situation until she got back on her feet.

Yet more than two months later, she is still there. There’s no sign of her leaving any time soon.

While he has never given me a reason not to trust him, recently I’ve started to feel a shift.

He’s become distant and, on more than one occasion, he has flaked on me to stay in and spend evenings with her.

Every time I’m at his house they’re flirting and I struggle to find a moment alone with him.

I know this may sound silly, but I’m so jealous and can’t help but wonder if there’s something going on.



My wife is a lying cheat and has been sending filthy messages behind my back


Max can’t get his boyfriend’s friend Tara off his mind

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not surprising that you’re worried given their behaviour.

Find a moment when things are calm, preferably when you are away from his house, to talk to him and explain the set-up makes you feel insecure.

While many people have close friends of the opposite gender, their friendship shouldn’t make any partners uncomfortable.

You both need to have an honest conversation about what boundaries are needed.

Perhaps try to set yourself a time limit for her to move out – say six weeks.

If things haven’t changed by then you may need to accept this relationship might not be what you need.

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, will help you to get the message across to him.

Hopefully, you won’t need it but read my support pack, Moving On, in case you decide finishing this relationship is best for you.